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Bringing Support to Parents
Building Strength to Children
Disclaimer: BS Kids LLC legal research and information has been prepared for educational and informational purposes only. This material is not legal advice or
legal opinions on any specific matters. Transmission of the information is not intended to create and receipt does not constitute a lawyer-client relationship between
BS Kids LLC , the author of the information and any other legal publisher. Customers of BS Kids should not act upon this information without seeking professional
counsel. The opinions expressed in the material presented to BS Kids clientele is based on information found in legal publications. BS Kids LLC, 78 Canterberry
Court, Hudson, NH 03051 781-756-1214.
legal opinions on any specific matters. Transmission of the information is not intended to create and receipt does not constitute a lawyer-client relationship between
BS Kids LLC , the author of the information and any other legal publisher. Customers of BS Kids should not act upon this information without seeking professional
counsel. The opinions expressed in the material presented to BS Kids clientele is based on information found in legal publications. BS Kids LLC, 78 Canterberry
Court, Hudson, NH 03051 781-756-1214.
Divorce
15 Critical Mistakes in Divorce
By Lee Slater, Divorce Financial Planner
Published: July 20, 2005
Becoming a Financial Victim
If you suspect that your spouse is planning a divorce, make copies of all important financial records such
as account statements (savings, stockbroker, real estate partnership) and data that relates to your marital
life style (checking accounts, charge card statements, tax returns). If you believe that your spouse may
liquidate or retitle marital assets, notify the holder in writing and get a restraining order from the court.
Watch out for cash in joint checking, brokerage accounts or cash value of life insurance. If assets are
taken, legal and forensic accounting fees could become excessive.
Not Considering Mediation
If assets are moderate, joint custody is workable and your spouse is agreeable to a fair settlement,
mediation will save thousands of dollars in legal fees, emotional aggravation and provide more flexibility
then the adversarial legal process. Mediation is a bomb when one spouse is hiding assets or income or is
unwilling to consider the needs of the other.
Hiring a Combative Lawyer to Punish Your Spouse
This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, divorce settlements are
determined by equitable distribution laws and courts will not punish your ex-spouse financially for being a
bad person. Second, your attorney assumes carte blanche to increase hours spent on your case. High
divorce costs mean less money will be leftover for living. Treat divorce as a business arrangement and get
your revenge by living well post-divorce.
Failing to Recognize Your Common Enemy - the I.R.S.
Work together with a divorce financial planner or tax accountant to minimize the total taxes you and your ex
will pay during separation and after divorce and share the money you save. Don't forget that both parties
are liable for taxes due as a result of audits on joint returns. Don't count on the innocent spouse rule to
protect you!
Not Producing an Accurate Budget
Invariably, clients underestimate or omit expenses when they produce their initial budget for temporary
maintenance (Pendente Lite) and later on in the divorce process they complain about not being unable to
pay bills. Use a financial professional to help you produce an accurate and complete budget.
Disregarding the Impact of Taxes on Assets in a Divorce Settlement
The bottom line is the share of marital assets you get after the tax man gets his. Say your spouse handles
all the investments and offers to split them 50/50. Sounds fair? I suggest you look at the value of your
assets relative to your spouse on an after tax basis. Then decide if you like the deal.
Failure to Use Computer Models to Evaluate Settlement Proposals
If you are trying to decide whether a divorce settlement is equitable and workable, you certainly want to
know how you will be doing financially 3, 5 or 10 years down the road. There are many interactive factors
you must consider including assets, incomes, budgets, maintenance and child support, taxes, retirement
plans, investments and educational expenses. Specialized divorce computer models produce
comprehensive and realistic analyses of your post-divorce lifestyle.
Bringing an Emotional Attachment to Assets to Divorce Negotiations
The marital residence, the pension your earned, a painting purchased during your marriage - these assets
bring an emotionally charged debate to divorce negotiations. The fact is many woman can't afford the
house and give a low priority to retirement planning. A house is an asset that has a low return on
investment(real estate appreciates at the rate of 2 or 3% annually) and is a major cash expense (mortgage
payments, taxes, repairs, heat and electricity).
Using Your Divorce Lawyer as a Financial Planner, Therapist or Messenger
One woman I spoke with ran up $35,000 in legal fees in just 2 months. Arrangements for her husband's
parental visitations were made through their matrimonial lawyers. Attorneys generally charge $200 to $300
per hour ($450 for partners in well known New York City and Los Angeles matrimonial firms) and are not
skilled therapists or certified financial planners. If you need emotional support, career counseling or
financial analysis, utilize qualified professionals and save big money in lawyer's fees.
Beware of Settlement Offers That Look Too Good
Both spouses and children must make compromises in their life styles post divorce. A settlement that does
not give one spouse enough money to live on is likely to go into default in the future. Be fair, but verify the
numbers. Get payments up front whenever possible even if you get less in total. Secure all payments with
assets and insurance.
Disregarding the Long Term Impact of Inflation
The effects of inflation on the cost of a child's college education 15 years in the future or retirement 20
years hence, can be dramatic. The rule of 72 is a simple way to judge the impact of inflation. If the inflation
rate is 3%, the rule of 72 states that prices will double in 24 years (72/3=24). College costs at 5% inflation
will double in 14.5 years (72/5=14.5).
Not Waiting Until the Wife Is Eligible for Her Husband’s Social Security
If a couple is married for 10 years or longer, a wife is entitled to receive half of her husband's social
security at retirement. Her ex-husband's social security payments are unaffected. It's ironic that the
average length of marriage for people who get divorced is 9.6 years. Waiting just 6 months longer will
increase a wife's retirement options with no reduction in her husband’s payments.
Forgetting to Update Estate Documents
After heavily contested divorces, many people forget to change the beneficiaries on their life insurance
policies, IRA's and Will. The result is that their ex-spouse ends up inheriting their estate which they really
wanted to leave to their children, new partner or favorite charity.
Failure to Adequately Insure the Divorce Settlement
Premature death or disability of your ex-spouse can result in loss of maintenance, child support, college
tuition or property settlement. Life and disability insurance can guarantee your payments and your family's
security. Also, don't ignore the high cost of purchasing individual health insurance.
Failure to Develop a Post-Divorce Financial Plan
One indisputable fact of divorce is that two households cost more to operate than one, but income is
unchanged. Many people start their post-divorce lives not fully understanding that their settlement must
last a significant amount of time..perhaps the rest of their lives. Financial planning can help people
transition from married to single lifestyle by prioritizing financial goals, developing realistic expectations and
producing written plans for allocation of financial resources.
By Lee Slater, Divorce Financial Planner
Published: July 20, 2005
Becoming a Financial Victim
If you suspect that your spouse is planning a divorce, make copies of all important financial records such
as account statements (savings, stockbroker, real estate partnership) and data that relates to your marital
life style (checking accounts, charge card statements, tax returns). If you believe that your spouse may
liquidate or retitle marital assets, notify the holder in writing and get a restraining order from the court.
Watch out for cash in joint checking, brokerage accounts or cash value of life insurance. If assets are
taken, legal and forensic accounting fees could become excessive.
Not Considering Mediation
If assets are moderate, joint custody is workable and your spouse is agreeable to a fair settlement,
mediation will save thousands of dollars in legal fees, emotional aggravation and provide more flexibility
then the adversarial legal process. Mediation is a bomb when one spouse is hiding assets or income or is
unwilling to consider the needs of the other.
Hiring a Combative Lawyer to Punish Your Spouse
This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, divorce settlements are
determined by equitable distribution laws and courts will not punish your ex-spouse financially for being a
bad person. Second, your attorney assumes carte blanche to increase hours spent on your case. High
divorce costs mean less money will be leftover for living. Treat divorce as a business arrangement and get
your revenge by living well post-divorce.
Failing to Recognize Your Common Enemy - the I.R.S.
Work together with a divorce financial planner or tax accountant to minimize the total taxes you and your ex
will pay during separation and after divorce and share the money you save. Don't forget that both parties
are liable for taxes due as a result of audits on joint returns. Don't count on the innocent spouse rule to
protect you!
Not Producing an Accurate Budget
Invariably, clients underestimate or omit expenses when they produce their initial budget for temporary
maintenance (Pendente Lite) and later on in the divorce process they complain about not being unable to
pay bills. Use a financial professional to help you produce an accurate and complete budget.
Disregarding the Impact of Taxes on Assets in a Divorce Settlement
The bottom line is the share of marital assets you get after the tax man gets his. Say your spouse handles
all the investments and offers to split them 50/50. Sounds fair? I suggest you look at the value of your
assets relative to your spouse on an after tax basis. Then decide if you like the deal.
Failure to Use Computer Models to Evaluate Settlement Proposals
If you are trying to decide whether a divorce settlement is equitable and workable, you certainly want to
know how you will be doing financially 3, 5 or 10 years down the road. There are many interactive factors
you must consider including assets, incomes, budgets, maintenance and child support, taxes, retirement
plans, investments and educational expenses. Specialized divorce computer models produce
comprehensive and realistic analyses of your post-divorce lifestyle.
Bringing an Emotional Attachment to Assets to Divorce Negotiations
The marital residence, the pension your earned, a painting purchased during your marriage - these assets
bring an emotionally charged debate to divorce negotiations. The fact is many woman can't afford the
house and give a low priority to retirement planning. A house is an asset that has a low return on
investment(real estate appreciates at the rate of 2 or 3% annually) and is a major cash expense (mortgage
payments, taxes, repairs, heat and electricity).
Using Your Divorce Lawyer as a Financial Planner, Therapist or Messenger
One woman I spoke with ran up $35,000 in legal fees in just 2 months. Arrangements for her husband's
parental visitations were made through their matrimonial lawyers. Attorneys generally charge $200 to $300
per hour ($450 for partners in well known New York City and Los Angeles matrimonial firms) and are not
skilled therapists or certified financial planners. If you need emotional support, career counseling or
financial analysis, utilize qualified professionals and save big money in lawyer's fees.
Beware of Settlement Offers That Look Too Good
Both spouses and children must make compromises in their life styles post divorce. A settlement that does
not give one spouse enough money to live on is likely to go into default in the future. Be fair, but verify the
numbers. Get payments up front whenever possible even if you get less in total. Secure all payments with
assets and insurance.
Disregarding the Long Term Impact of Inflation
The effects of inflation on the cost of a child's college education 15 years in the future or retirement 20
years hence, can be dramatic. The rule of 72 is a simple way to judge the impact of inflation. If the inflation
rate is 3%, the rule of 72 states that prices will double in 24 years (72/3=24). College costs at 5% inflation
will double in 14.5 years (72/5=14.5).
Not Waiting Until the Wife Is Eligible for Her Husband’s Social Security
If a couple is married for 10 years or longer, a wife is entitled to receive half of her husband's social
security at retirement. Her ex-husband's social security payments are unaffected. It's ironic that the
average length of marriage for people who get divorced is 9.6 years. Waiting just 6 months longer will
increase a wife's retirement options with no reduction in her husband’s payments.
Forgetting to Update Estate Documents
After heavily contested divorces, many people forget to change the beneficiaries on their life insurance
policies, IRA's and Will. The result is that their ex-spouse ends up inheriting their estate which they really
wanted to leave to their children, new partner or favorite charity.
Failure to Adequately Insure the Divorce Settlement
Premature death or disability of your ex-spouse can result in loss of maintenance, child support, college
tuition or property settlement. Life and disability insurance can guarantee your payments and your family's
security. Also, don't ignore the high cost of purchasing individual health insurance.
Failure to Develop a Post-Divorce Financial Plan
One indisputable fact of divorce is that two households cost more to operate than one, but income is
unchanged. Many people start their post-divorce lives not fully understanding that their settlement must
last a significant amount of time..perhaps the rest of their lives. Financial planning can help people
transition from married to single lifestyle by prioritizing financial goals, developing realistic expectations and
producing written plans for allocation of financial resources.
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